Kucinich saw a UFO

According to the Source of All Universal Truth, Shirley MacLaine, presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich saw a UFO while he was at her house. Apparently, it looked him over for a few minutes and then left. Probably because the aliens were looking for their friend Shirley and were confused by the guy they found instead. I'm still waiting for the aliens to take me on board for a couple of days because I could make them some great Earth food and maybe then they wouldn't vaporize us.

Rudy's ready for alien attack

So I was playing on the internet, as I often do, and found this interesting article on the readiness of at least one of our presidential candidates to handle an attack from extraterrestrials. I'd be interested to find out what his specific plans are and how well prepared the other candidates would be against an alien invasion force. And I don't think I'm alone in this, right?

Bug-eyes

The US government is developing tiny spies to keep tabs on people who voice their opinions. According to the Washington Post, several people at recent antiwar rallies have seen these little "bugs" keeping tabs on them.

This occurrence reminds me of that X-Files episode where metal cockroaches were found in connection with mysterious deaths. Could the FBI be keeping track of dissenters? Are aliens studying us? Or were they just huge dragonflies, uncharacteristically flying in formation? I'll leave that up to you.

Pass the Soma

In many of the dystopian societies in literature and film, the government controls dissidents with fear and in some cases, medication. Who can forget the horrifying inevitable ending of 1984, where Winston becomes re-educated and ends up loving Big Brother. It looks like the US government wants to be Big Brother. I better stop there, in case they come after me too.

World Hive Brain

Yes, I know that the title phrase comes from Dharma & Greg, but it's so frighteningly applicable to what's going on in world politics. We learned about Darth Cheney from Senator Hillary Clinton, but Right Wing News had an article on Darth Putin as well. Could this mean that they are really the same person, bent on ruling the entire world with the iron fist that Stalin only dreamed about as he erected monuments to himself?


Or is there a more sinister force at work here?

'More sinister than Cheney and Putin?', you are doubtless asking yourself.

Yes. A number of world leaders are being controlled by the same alien mind, which is trying to take control of the Earth's population by getting us too wrapped up in fighting each other that we never see the robot uprising coming, controlled from their space station.

This evil entity, whom we have discovered is known as Havgurn, has a telepathic connection with world leaders on several continents. As we don't know whether Havgurn is male or female or some other gender, for ease of communication, we will call Havgurn a him. He enjoys watching water polo, cruising MySpace, and the idea of eating Mexican food. He hasn't had any yet, to preserve the ignorance of the world's population as to his existence, but after he overthrows the world, it's high on his list of earthly experiences to indulge in. Until then, he spends his time inciting conflicts and genocides all over the world.

Now what?

I read this blog post and thought it was an interesting read. Do you think he's telling the truth about it, or did aliens brainwash him to hide the fact that they were really the ones responsible?

9/11 Conspiracy

And while we're on the subject . . .



The granddaddy of recent conspiracy theories. This doesn't mean that there won't be more to come. Check back soon for a new conspiracy.

Pentagon attack

I saw this one a while ago and thought I'd quickly post a link to it. See what you think of the missile attack on the Pentagon.

http://www.pentagonstrike.co.uk/flash.htm#Main

Darth Cheney

Greetings, intrepid visitor! This inaugural post of the Crazy Conspiracy Theories blog will bring you into world of deception, illusion, and evasion. I, Baron von Doom, invite you to read, ponder, and consider the dark underbelly of society.

For the first story, I'll be referring to the space object that set the Internet abuzz when it crashed onto the scene in Peru. You know the one I'm talking about. The 'meteorite' that crashed in the mountains and made a bunch of people sick. As the article reports, it was an American spy satellite that the American government intentionally destroyed. What this article does not report, however, is why the US government attacked its own satellite with a missile.

The reason is that in preparation to depart the vice-presidency and the eventual failure of his heart, Dick Cheney has been uploading his consciousness into the spy satellite so that he could continue blasting random world inhabitants with the space shotgun that was attached to the high-definition camera on board the satellite. The upload process was interrupted, which left the sinister part of the consciousness imprinted in the satellite's memory without the restraint the mortal Cheney shows. The decision was made to destroy the space Cheney and start over, rather than have a single rogue satellite pick off targets from space with a space shotgun.

If you've got another theory, please share your theory here.