Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Darth Cheney

Greetings, intrepid visitor! This inaugural post of the Crazy Conspiracy Theories blog will bring you into world of deception, illusion, and evasion. I, Baron von Doom, invite you to read, ponder, and consider the dark underbelly of society.

For the first story, I'll be referring to the space object that set the Internet abuzz when it crashed onto the scene in Peru. You know the one I'm talking about. The 'meteorite' that crashed in the mountains and made a bunch of people sick. As the article reports, it was an American spy satellite that the American government intentionally destroyed. What this article does not report, however, is why the US government attacked its own satellite with a missile.

The reason is that in preparation to depart the vice-presidency and the eventual failure of his heart, Dick Cheney has been uploading his consciousness into the spy satellite so that he could continue blasting random world inhabitants with the space shotgun that was attached to the high-definition camera on board the satellite. The upload process was interrupted, which left the sinister part of the consciousness imprinted in the satellite's memory without the restraint the mortal Cheney shows. The decision was made to destroy the space Cheney and start over, rather than have a single rogue satellite pick off targets from space with a space shotgun.

If you've got another theory, please share your theory here.

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